Christmas reflections.

So I might have been a tad depressed in the two weeks or so leading up to Christmas. I really, truly appreciate everyone’s support during that time. I suppose it was weird to y’all that I took the death of The Wild Boy’s fellow Spartan so hard. I think putting into words for you why, will help me sort it out also.

I knew what his family was going through. Having lost a child so suddenly in our family, anytime I hear of the loss of a child, the memories of the first night Andy died and the days and weeks following, all come rushing back. It is no secret to any regular This Girl readers (all 10 of you now!) that I suffer from a wicked case of OCD at the best of times. Imagine the obsessive thought cycle of a horrific loss.

The shock, the why, the what-if and if-only…our family knows it. Our family also knows the love. The people who called, came by, sent cards, sent food…not just to my sister but to all of us. My church family and friends did all of that for me and my family. They would catch me when I wasn’t running back and forth to Roanoke. They brought food for my people at home while I spent a week in Roanoke being with my sister and parents. It matters. You may think that your card, your phone call, your casserole or cake doesn’t. But, it does matter. I can’t begin to tell you how much. I still have all of your cards and notes and I have read through all of them. About a year later, but I did it. And I’ve kept them.

So, yeah. I did lose about a week of Christmas Joy. Not that I was wallowing in depression, but just wasn’t into the whole Christmas thing. I helped the Stevens family as best I could. And then I had to pull my head together and get back to my own family. There was a lot of rushing around the last few days before Christmas. But it was a blast. My Man did a bunch of last minute shopping for me. He wrapped every single present for the kids and I only had to wrap his and my family’s. He and I surprised my mom, dad and sister by showing up at their doors the morning after Christmas and it was good to spend a couple of days with them.

We came home to a group of The Big Boy’s Longwood buddies and had a great time catching up on their lives. It turned out to be a great Christmas. Like it always does. I’m ready for the New Year. New goals, new plans and new lists. Change is good, y’all, but just to be clear…getting rid of coffee is not on any of my lists. Nor is getting rid of any of my lists. You will just have to suffer through like the rest of my family.

Love you guys.

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Lack of Control.

Saturday Morning before Thanksgiving. My Girl was the first one up. Let’s clarify that. She was only the first one up because Wesson, her GSD puppy, was the first one up. But she stayed up and chose to make sure we all knew it by apparently touching every dish in the kitchen according to My Man. In truth, she knew I was stressing about the condition of our home and was jumping in to help.

The Big Boy and The Wild Boy are still sound asleep. Typical.

My house is a wreck right now. So much has been going on; my OCD has had plenty of other avenues to walk down but today my focus is back. Pray for the children, My Man and all of our critters as I’ve already had a temper tantrum involving the linen closet and sheets. The aftermath is not pretty and will need to also be dealt with today. I think I will snap before and after pics for your viewing pleasure but mostly as a reference for the rest of them. *them being these messy peeps I do life with in this house*

Control. I’ll be honest, the more I try to have it; the less I actually do. I think it explains a lot about some of the other, shall we say cute personality quirks I possess. For example, my need to begin playing Christmas in October. I really believe that I subconsciously think that if I begin playing Christmas music early, I will actually have a jump on Christmas and be done shopping, wrapping, decorating weeks before Christmas. For the record, that’s never happened. Next year I will try again. And guess what? The Wild Boy will be away at college *gulp* and there will be no last football season and all that entails. I will miss it. But, I’m totally done. This last season did me in.

Control. Not only has my house been out of control, over the top messy, so has my eating. Hmmm…just made that connection. Again, I’m not one for New Year’s Resolutions, but I really do have a list of changes I want to make in 2014. My eating and weight and exercise commitment is numero uno. Among other items that I will attempt to control. Realistically, I have very little control of the four most important things in my life, my family. Therefore, I must attempt to control all else that is around me.

Also on my need to change in 2014…the need to control. Clearly.

Love you guys.

‘Tis the Season to make lists…

Christmas Binder

We are officially in crazy-overdrive-good-golly-it’s-the-Christmas-Season here at Smith Abbey. This time of year brings out the uber-obsessive in my OCD and I make lists for all of my lists. Some of the things I’m listing:

Christmas presents, of course.
Thanksgiving Menu items. I haven’t even begun the grocery list for this…just the menu items.
Apparently there are 1,345 people joining us for Thanksgiving if you read my planned menu.
Making a printed menu for the tables is also on my list.
We have a ton of things going on at church, also, so I have many lists involving church events. My fibro fog, yes, it is a real thing, has to behave between now and January 1.
College applications are done, thanks to My Man, but we have several college visits in December.
Next week is the Senior Football Banquet. Guess who is in charge of that? Thankfully, My Man, who is just as OCD as his wife, took over the planning and is making it happen.
But I still have duties (for you, Jen A.) that I am responsible for. Thus, a couple of lists.
I’m also pulling together my annual Christmas binder. This is the first year I am doing this officially, but I totally believe it will become an annual thing.
If I remember to do it next year. See fibro fog reference above.
I’ve begun planning my Christmas Menu. I think it will be just us, Trav and hopefully, Bryan and Gunner, for Christmas Day.

After I finish my Christmas Binder, I will share it with you here on This Girl.

How do y’all handle this time of year? Has anyone else begun thinking about some changes they want to make next year, in general? I refuse to call them New Year’s Resolutions. Resolutions sounds so…final decision like.

Love you guys. Off and running to the Costco, Party Depot, Giant, Lunch and movie (Thor) with My Man and children!