Writing. And Sharing. Part Two.

I have asked y’all before, so I won’t ask again *but if you want to give me input…that’s cool* about topics that you would like to see on This Girl. I’m looking back over all your input and I’m pulling together…A Plan. Not a list. A Plan. Just sounds more…official? We will go with that.

In the mean time, here’s A List of some things on my mind/observations/annoyances:

I am still in major purge/reorganize/clean up mode. Here is the ugly reality of my desk clean-out. I’m waiting for Staples to deliver some organizing containers. *that’s my story…*

Tomorrow my eldest (oldest? when do you use one or the other?) turns 24. Since I’m only 42 right now, the math is really cutting it close. Pretty soon I am going to have to start lying about HIS age. *Not that I’m lying about mine, of course*

My guys are going to the Nats game tonight. The weather is absolutely gorgeous. I feel great. No one else seems to be ill. I’m regretting declining their invite. But it will be quality bonding time for the three of them and they can do whatever a dad and his two *pretty much* adult sons do together at a MLB game when mom aka Killer of All Things Fun isn’t around.

I’ve totally given up on my weight worries. No particular reason other than I’m doing the best I can. I’m eating healthier most of the time. I’m trying to be more active. I just don’t have the mental and/or physical ability to get serious about it. Yet. Besides, dropping 50 pounds before Beach Week…as if.

Thirty-Seven days until Beach Week, by the way.

Eighteen days until My Baby graduates from high school. Still seems like a long way off. Talk to me when we are in single digits.

Is it just me or are people really getting crankier now that the weather is warmer? As I was driving home from work yesterday afternoon (I work one mile from home, by the way), I was honked at; flipped off; and had some lunatic try to pass me on the right side as I was trying to turn right into our subdivision. People need to chill.

This:

Seriously. I have no words.

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Writing. And sharing.

I have been writing. Some. Just not for public consumption. I’ve been taking lots of photographs. Another medium for my creativity. Or maybe I’m just scared to post the thoughts I’ve written. A little of both, perhaps.

So much is happening in my our world right now. Babies growing up. Babies being born. Babies being mourned. So much to get done. It’s often difficult for me to determine what is truly important and what I can…should let slide for another time. So I make lots of lists. I tease My Man about his anal, logistician lists but honestly…I make several lists each day. I can tease him because I keep mine hidden…he sticks his to the fridge front for all to see.

And that’s okay. His list is a reminder of all things needing to be done. My lists are more like…wish lists. Get up early. Walk. Weights. Healthy breakfast. Time with the Lover of my soul. Organize. Clean. Purge. Repeat.

And I think that my lists are okay too. Each day I do eat more healthy. And I force my people to do so. Each day I purge a bit of stuff and organize a bit more. The walking and the gym and the yoga will come along. Sooner more so than later.

The Princess with her great-grandmother, grandmother and mommy

For a few more days, my two oldest are both 23. Only 11 months (and a day) apart, they might as well be 11 years apart. So different are they. I know that is true of all children. Twins and Irish twins alike. I can barely remember any of them at 3 weeks of age. The age of sweet baby girl next door. I am admittedly obsessed…totally in love with her. Confirming again that I am so ready for grands. In the proper order I tell my three. My oldest two are now older than The Boy. At least in life years. In eternity years he would have turned 26 this year. Even his baby sisters are quickly gaining and in another year and a half, will pass his time here. And my baby, The WILD Boy. How he makes my heart laugh. So unlike them all. So like all of them in a tiny feather plucked way from each.

My and mine…Disney

Writing is easy. It’s the sharing that is difficult. Thank you for sticking around for the ride and your words of encouragement.

Andy and his mom, my baby sister

Christmas reflections.

So I might have been a tad depressed in the two weeks or so leading up to Christmas. I really, truly appreciate everyone’s support during that time. I suppose it was weird to y’all that I took the death of The Wild Boy’s fellow Spartan so hard. I think putting into words for you why, will help me sort it out also.

I knew what his family was going through. Having lost a child so suddenly in our family, anytime I hear of the loss of a child, the memories of the first night Andy died and the days and weeks following, all come rushing back. It is no secret to any regular This Girl readers (all 10 of you now!) that I suffer from a wicked case of OCD at the best of times. Imagine the obsessive thought cycle of a horrific loss.

The shock, the why, the what-if and if-only…our family knows it. Our family also knows the love. The people who called, came by, sent cards, sent food…not just to my sister but to all of us. My church family and friends did all of that for me and my family. They would catch me when I wasn’t running back and forth to Roanoke. They brought food for my people at home while I spent a week in Roanoke being with my sister and parents. It matters. You may think that your card, your phone call, your casserole or cake doesn’t. But, it does matter. I can’t begin to tell you how much. I still have all of your cards and notes and I have read through all of them. About a year later, but I did it. And I’ve kept them.

So, yeah. I did lose about a week of Christmas Joy. Not that I was wallowing in depression, but just wasn’t into the whole Christmas thing. I helped the Stevens family as best I could. And then I had to pull my head together and get back to my own family. There was a lot of rushing around the last few days before Christmas. But it was a blast. My Man did a bunch of last minute shopping for me. He wrapped every single present for the kids and I only had to wrap his and my family’s. He and I surprised my mom, dad and sister by showing up at their doors the morning after Christmas and it was good to spend a couple of days with them.

We came home to a group of The Big Boy’s Longwood buddies and had a great time catching up on their lives. It turned out to be a great Christmas. Like it always does. I’m ready for the New Year. New goals, new plans and new lists. Change is good, y’all, but just to be clear…getting rid of coffee is not on any of my lists. Nor is getting rid of any of my lists. You will just have to suffer through like the rest of my family.

Love you guys.

‘Tis the Season to make lists…

Christmas Binder

We are officially in crazy-overdrive-good-golly-it’s-the-Christmas-Season here at Smith Abbey. This time of year brings out the uber-obsessive in my OCD and I make lists for all of my lists. Some of the things I’m listing:

Christmas presents, of course.
Thanksgiving Menu items. I haven’t even begun the grocery list for this…just the menu items.
Apparently there are 1,345 people joining us for Thanksgiving if you read my planned menu.
Making a printed menu for the tables is also on my list.
We have a ton of things going on at church, also, so I have many lists involving church events. My fibro fog, yes, it is a real thing, has to behave between now and January 1.
College applications are done, thanks to My Man, but we have several college visits in December.
Next week is the Senior Football Banquet. Guess who is in charge of that? Thankfully, My Man, who is just as OCD as his wife, took over the planning and is making it happen.
But I still have duties (for you, Jen A.) that I am responsible for. Thus, a couple of lists.
I’m also pulling together my annual Christmas binder. This is the first year I am doing this officially, but I totally believe it will become an annual thing.
If I remember to do it next year. See fibro fog reference above.
I’ve begun planning my Christmas Menu. I think it will be just us, Trav and hopefully, Bryan and Gunner, for Christmas Day.

After I finish my Christmas Binder, I will share it with you here on This Girl.

How do y’all handle this time of year? Has anyone else begun thinking about some changes they want to make next year, in general? I refuse to call them New Year’s Resolutions. Resolutions sounds so…final decision like.

Love you guys. Off and running to the Costco, Party Depot, Giant, Lunch and movie (Thor) with My Man and children!