Counting Down.

I’ve been counting down to our annual beach week. I do that often. Lately, because we have had so much cold and snow and I am looking forward to being at the warm and sunny beach. But mostly because I do that…always looking forward.

And not doing the now.

So I started thinking about…what if I knew the moment I would take my last breath? What if I had in my home, on my desktop, a watch…whatever…what if I had a countdown clock telling me exactly how much time I had left?

Would I…

…spend more time cleaning my home so I would enjoy it more? or
would I spend less time cleaning my home and more time reading a book because I enjoy that?

…put make-up on and something nicer than sweats and a tee-shirt for my husband every single day, because I want to look and feel my best for him (and for myself?)? or
not waste that time on make-up, trusting he loves me just as I am, no matter what?

…let go of the toxic people in my life as soon as I realized it, no matter who they are? or
spend more time and more energy to make that relationship work and embrace that person for himself/herself knowing that I also will be changed, for better or worse?

…spend more time making my world a better place? or
put all of my energy and focus on making my children better people?

…spend less money on cars and homes that are admittedly comfy and safe? or
spend more money on helping others?

…worry more about what is proper and considerate? or
more about the person?

…read and study the Bible more? or
just sit and pray and listen for Him more?

Do not think for a moment that I am judging or suggesting that any one this or that is better than the other. These are all things that I have been mulling over this week. For me.

I have spent way too much of the last few years worrying. Period. And regretting. I don’t want to regret anymore. I just want to do.

During my quiet time today, I realized the reason I haven’t been hearing from God lately. I haven’t been able to because of all of the clutter in my life. Not just the actual stuff. The noise. The regret. The worry. It has covered my eyes. Deafened my ears. Hindered my mouth from saying the things I should say.

Today. I am doing. Today I am returning to the Now. And to Him.

What are some of the things you are doing during this reflective season of Lent?

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Lent…A Season of Fasting and Feasting.

Having grown up in the Episcopal Church, Ash Wednesday marked the season of Lent and Lent was Something Important. So important that we had to Give Up Something. Usually chocolate. Which was easy for me because I don’t really need chocolate. But I do like it.

Clearly, I missed the entire point.

Because I don’t do sacrifice well.

At all.

So this year, for the first time I can remember, I decided that Ash Wednesday and Lent really ARE something special and should be treated as such. And I decided to give up something that really would be a sacrifice.

Starbucks Coffee.

That’s right. You read it correctly.

But before you start thinking I’m All That…please note that I only gave up going to Starbucks for coffee (or any other drink/food brewed/made there).

And before you start thinking how really pathetic I am…let me fill you in on my Starbucks AddictionHabit.

I brew Starbucks beans at home in my own coffee pot and/or french press. And then on my way to the office, I would stop and get a cup. A big cup. And complain that they ignored my request to “super size me”.

And sometimes, The Man and I would grab a Starbucks while we were out. You know…every night.

See? S-A-C-R-I-F-I-C-E people.

And I have stuck with it for an entire week! I’ve been in Starbucks once…yesterday…to pick up a pound of beans and have them ground. And of course you know if you are a Starbucks regular that you also get a free tall coffee. Which of course I took. Because I didn’t BUY it. And that is what prompted me to give up Starbucks Coffee for Lent…the cost.

And, of course, the sacrifice.

A bit ago, I checked out (was led there?) Sr. Lynn at the Clyde Monastery. She’s a Siesta from the LPM blog. I wish that she would post every day. I LOVE her posts.

Her most recent post included this:

LENT: A SEASON OF FASTING, A SEASON OF FEASTING.

•Fast from judging others; Feast on Christ living in them.

•Fast from harsh words; Feast on words that build others up.

•Fast from discontent; Feast on gratitude.

•Fast from anger; Feast on patience.

•Fast from pessimism; Feast on optimism.

•Fast from worry; Feast on God’s care.

•Fast from complaining; Feast on appreciation.

•Fast from bitterness; Feast on forgiveness.

•Fast from self-concern; Feast on compassion for others.

•Fast from discouragement; Feast on hope.

•Fast from facts that depress; Feast on facts that uplift.

•Fast from suspicion; Feast on the truth.

•Fast from thoughts that weaken; Feast on promises that inspire.

•Fast from idle gossip; Feast on Silence with a purpose.

I’ve printed it out. And I am going to Fast and Feast according to it. And I think to do so will be my real Sacrifice for Him.