Meanwhile, back at the farm.

Sunday is my week planning day. I try to get my meals planned out and break down each day into chunks of things to get done that particular week. Today will be even more so. I’m finally fever free for 24 hours and tomorrow will get back on track with exercising. Food has been going well. Mostly because I have not had an appetite but when I finally did, I ate foods on my list and avoided those on my hit list. Except for dinner last night. There was good bread and I ate a slice. There was wine and I had one glass. There were fried oysters and I had that for my meal. This morning…so far so good, but I’m back to my food list choices.

I’ve always been an all or nothing girl. If I blow one meal, the entire day would be blown. If I missed one workout, the entire week’s worth of workouts would be blown. Moderation was not in my vocabulary. This time has already been different. I ate really well yesterday knowing I would indulge a bit in the evening. Even after indulging with my meal, I did not order dessert and only took one small bite of My Man’s amazing bread pudding à la mode. Now, I’m not saying I have turned into a moderation girl by any means…that does not work for me either, but I have turned into a plan ahead girl. I already know what I am going to be eating all day today including a catered lunch after church. Since I worked with the caterer to come up with the menu, I am planning around that meal. There are plenty of options today off my food list.

I’m not really about pounds lost right now, although I can tell you I am weighing myself regularly and charting it. I got this cool scale that communicates with an app…easy peasy. But I’m not focused on it. I did do measurements several months ago and haven’t worried about that either yet. Right now it is about awareness. I’m more focused on how I feel after I eat and over the next day or so. It has been super eye-opening. For months, I tried to convince myself that I was wrong about what certain foods did to me. But the evidence is clear (according to my journaling) and, although I am focusing on what I CAN eat, there is a growing list of foods I am avoiding. More on that this week.

Thank you all for the encouragement and support! Still working the kinks out of the new blogging platform and trying to get myself organized and in a groove…but as a wise friend told me recently, if we waited for the right moment…none of us would have any children (or get anything started and done, was her point).

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Set backs are just a small step back.

Woke up early to get in an early walk. It cracks me up, still, after all of these years, to read something like that about me. I was always a night owl. Unless you count staying up til the wee morning hours reading as a morning person. Sleeping in was just something I always loved to do. Until the others were born. Sleeping in isn’t really an option when you have babies, especially back-to-back babies born 11 months (and a day) apart.

So I woke up early to walk, because morning quickly evolved into my most loved time of the day and I’ve never looked back, and hello…stuffy head, runny nose and wheezing that could be heard down the block. Tis the season for sinus infections for me. A tad early in the season, September is usually my go-to month for sinus issues, but it is what it is.

So this…Day 2 of getting my shit together… and I’m a tad irritated (when was the last time you read a cuss word on This Girl?) but I am not defeated. Normally, as in three days ago, I would have tossed in the towel and headed for the Dunkin Donuts with this set back. Woe is me and pass the Boston cream filled. Not. This. Time. I  knew I needed to add some stretching into my weekly routine so today is that day. Also tossed in some body weight moves My Girl suggested I try. Boom. Done. On to my Quiet Time and living.

Changing my attitude, mind-set, focus..all the things…is also part of pulling all of ME together. Letting a small set back like a cold is just an opportunity to do something else; focus on something different; a wee step back to gather extra momentum to push forward.

Off to finish up my Quiet Time, listen to some worship music (this song and this song are my two current faves that I listen to over and over these days) and cover y’all in some hefty prayer because seriously…we all need some prayer spoken over us these days.

Day 1 of This Life.

*Edited below*

I was shocked when I pulled up This Girl and the last post was dated February. I honestly thought my site was down and/or missing posts.

Nope. My site was missing ME.

I have been MIA. Lots and lots of things have happened, but I am not going to talk about them today.

Today is about Me.

Me getting to the place where, “the pain to remain the same is greater than the pain to change.”
Me saying for the last time, “I’ll start tomorrow.” “Just this last time.”
Me pointing the fingers at others; the past; the weather; lack of time.
Me just being so dang tired of it all.

I’m not just talking about working out and eating well.

I sat down and took a life assessment from a Life Coach. Wanting to get myself back on track, on the right path. It wasn’t eye opening. There were no big surprises. In fact, it was like reading pages from My Journal for the last 10 years. Ten. Years. That’s how far I went back in my journaling to verify that I really had been stuck in this rut for eternity.

Ten years ago I didn’t have the excuse of having lost a dear friend or having lost a nephew. I was actually exercising regularly. My children were 16, 15 and 10 and we were in the midst of the Glory Years where everything revolves around our children and working together to make it all possible and smoothly run.

And yet, I was still writing the same things then that I did in my Life Assessment as things that had me feeling discontent; frustrated; angry. On the flip side of that, I was also writing the same things then that I did in the assessment that make me happy and make me content. I guess that’s a good thing?

Anyway, it IS a Monday and it IS a new day. Day 1, in fact. At least that is what I wrote in my journal. *side note…I should have started a new journal to mark this occasion, but I didn’t. Bummed.*

So what does this all mean, exactly? For starters, if you haven’t guessed already, I am focusing on ME. My health. What I eat (and will no longer eat); what I will make priorities (and what needs to go); and to push through the pain of starting to exercise regularly again. I have felt led for awhile now to write about it all and to be brutally honest about it…to pull y’all in as accountability partners with me and to just keep it real. And to finally embrace what I am. And let go of what I am not.

It’s exciting, really. Like the first page of a brand new journal; a clean slate; the beginning of a new friendship and all those other cliches.

With that…I am off for a Day 1 Walk. I’ll be posting some things on social media as well so follow me on Facebook, Instagram and Snap Chat….Smiths2boys1girl.

*Day 1 update* Exercise goal for the day, 20 minute walk, done. Keep moving is also a goal. Breakfast – two organic, free range eggs, asparagus and spinach sauteed in a little grass-fed buttah…check. How did I feel while walking? It. Sucked. And, It. Hurt. But I did it and i will do it again tomorrow and the next day and the next…How do I feel now? My brain is clearing of the fog. I’m energized. I did it! I’m off to get all the stuff done. Thanks for hanging with me!