Oh, Starbucks…

Dear Lady in Black at Starbucks this morning.

You…yes, you…the one with the mean countenance.

*countenance…such a fun word to say aloud!*

When I held open the door for you going in, I recognized immediately how our Starbucks morning relationship was going to play out.

When you looked me up and down like I was white trash…it made me smile inside.

Yes! That IS a tattoo on my arm and Yes! I am 50 years old.

From your sighs and harrumphs and fidgeting as you stood in line behind me, I suspected there would be some sort of altercation.

I refused to be baited.

And you did not disappoint.

When you slid your right foot and leg in front of me in a classic NBA block-out move, I actually laughed out loud.

Which only made you angrier.

I allowed you your moment and your cuttsies in line.

*in case you thought you pulled one over on me*

I allowed you your moment because, you see, I used to be like you.

Angry.

Rushed.

Self-absorbed.

Some days…I still am.

But not today.

You think you won.

And you did. You won my pity and my compassion.

Today, you were on the top of my prayer list.

Slam-dunk.

Game. Over.

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Baggage.

Greetings, Loyal Listeners. Ummm…Regular Readers?

Whatever.

I know it has been a week or so. Sorry. My excuses reasons are as follows:

  1. Been processing a bunch of “stuff”
  2. Been super-duper busy
  3. repeat 

Have actually been enjoying a bunch of social time. Which is pretty unusual for me. The enjoying it part, I mean. I’m not always the most social in my family. I gave up fighting it a long, long time ago since the other four Smith’s in my family are Über social and apparently cannot go a day without some sort of event or social time on their calendars.

But, I digress.

Baggage. Who’s got some? Besides me, I mean. Truth be told, I have had (and still have) a ton of baggage. Thankfully, I’ve been able to process and unload a bunch of it. But lately…lately…I have not only clung to my current baggage, I’ve been joyfully (not so much) picking up more baggage.

Details are unimportant. I’m here to talk about the process.

The combination of a few well-aimed comments opened my eyes to some changes in my life I needed to make. A few general examples:

  1. Distancing myself from people who are not life-giving (to me and to others)
  2. Accepting a challenge (or 10) to change my eating and overall health 
  3. Mapping out my day and sticking to it. I am a huge list maker and a major list ignorer(er)
  4. Other than my family and a couple of close friends, who do I really want spend precious time with? *and if you don’t believe that our time is precious, you need to go back and read through my blog for the last three years* I really need to be discerning in this area
  5. Just. Say. No. A big one for me because I really am a people pleaser. *or used to be*

There’s more, but you get the gist…

As y’all know, I’m a journal-writing-fiend. That is truly where I get a lot of my insight. I view my journal as one big prayer request slash praise session to God. A lot of my entries lately have been basically, “help me to figure all of this stuff out.” And, because He is Faithful and True, He has.

*always remember to be careful what you ask for…cause you just might get it*

I should stress to y’all that it really isn’t so much me that has figured out the baggage and how to subsequently dump it. I have an entire cast of characters that have been placed in my life to help me: my own family members, church family and friends, and, most recently, one sentence that my own personal favorite bible study leader, Beth Moore, wrote on her blog.

The key to this entire process, I am convinced, is to be open and willing; to hear; to truly listen; to act; to obey.

*all four of which go totally against my own self-absorbed self*

So, there you have my last few weeks, in a nutshell.

As always, I love y’all and am thankful for each of you.