My Choice.

As our world continues to spin out of control, we have two choices…give in and crash and burn, or pick ourselves back up and keep going.

There was a time, during the life of That Girl, where the choice was always the former. But now, now I find, after the initial shock, anger, sadness, whatever…I pick myself up and keep going and the rest of the family does, too.

I have yet to blog about my mini-retreat yesterday (January 3). I was up before 5 am and I knew the afternoon would be a brutal trial of trying to stay awake, so I settled into my living room with a big steaming cup of Christmas Blend, a new journal (a one subject spiral bound, college rule notebook with a dark green cover), a couple of purple pens and my Stormie Omartian The Power of a Praying Woman bible (I haven’t used it since October, apparently, because I found a tithing check from October tucked in there). I also gave a copy of this bible to bff, Beth and always pull it out when I feel girlie. Check it out here.

I really didn’t have much of a plan for my retreat. I had hoped to just get a refilling of the emptiness I’ve been feeling; that emptiness that is left after the life is sucked right out of you from grieving (yourself) and attempting (and often failing) to be strong for everyone else. It’s what the mom does. I wouldn’t change that part; I’m not complaining about that part; it is what it is.

Five minutes into my retreat I knew, without a doubt, the following: *you knew there would be bullets…admit it*

  • I had forsaken my God. He had definitely not forsaken me.
  • Psalm 139, the entire chapter, is my scripture for 2012. I need to and will become very familiar with Psalm 139 this year, in many translations. 
  • I will not give into evil and evil will not defeat me. Even *especially* the evil that is in human form. And there is plenty of it in my life.

After 14 pages of notes and a diagram (I’m a visual person) I thought I was ready for the year 2012. I mean, I am ready for the year 2012. Even with the hit we are taking this week of losing Andy’s dog, Hurley Boo James. Initially reeling from the shock of it, I now see it for what it is…Andy misses Hurley; Hurley misses Andy. They belong together. It was all part of The Plan, as painful as it is. 

I expect that I will be blogging, over the coming weeks, some of the notes from my retreat. I’ll let you know how it’s all going.

As always, I covet your prayers for my family and I am praying for you.

Love you guys. See y’all soon.

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3 Comments

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  1. A mini-retreat sounds like something everyone should do at least once a quarter if not once a month!

    Looking forward to hearing more about what you learned.

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  2. I love you Sooz. Praying for you and your family. Thank you for your words, they mean so much, especially to people going through similar circumstances. <3

    T

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  3. Oh Honey – praying for you unceasingly. And loving you like CA-RAY-ZEEE. Just so ya know!

    Like

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