Slow Down…

Slow Down or I will force you to slow down and you will not like it.

I am just unable to grasp this entire obedience thing.

He has been talking to me about this for a few weeks…slowing down and what that means and looks like.

I have totally ignored Him.

There is so much to do! I’m falling behind at work and at home! I need to go through things and get rid of things NOW because I just can’t stand all this STUFF and I want to decorate and I want to redo some of our antique and vintage pieces and the Holidays are coming and…and…and…and…

And I know better. When I am stressed and anxious and over doing it and not taking care of myself I can count on several things happening:

:: My Man and I are no longer on the same wave length
:: My children irritate me
:: People in general irritate me
:: I stop communicating with Him
:: I begin to shut myself off from everyone
:: I eat horribly and don’t exercise
:: I don’t sleep
:: Finally, my body shuts down…every joint and muscle hurts and aches and I am so fatigued I can barely move

This week…I can pretty much put a check mark by all of those things and circle and underline the last one.

When am I going to learn?

An advantage to working in a church is that I can head into the Sanctuary, close the doors and seek Him out. And He always answers me.

A few moments ago, I did just that and He responded so wonderfully:

It’s time to slow down, Susan. Turn the anxiety, the to do list, the fears, the anger, the bitterness…all of it, over to Me. Rely solely on Me. I am All you truly have. I am All you need. Then the healing will come.

Because I’m a brat, I always ask Him this: “Why, Lord? Why do allow me to be so disobedient and then when I come crawling back begging Your forgiveness…pleading for another chance…You give them to me. Why?”

In rapid succession all of these wonderful Scriptures began flooding my heart. Promises of who I am and Who He Is.

Already my heart is slowing…my mind no longer racing…my to do list fading. Peace. Warmth. Comfort. Love.

Thankfulness.

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A Glimpse at my morning.

Let’s see. It is 9:13 and I am the only one up and have been for about an hour and a half.

I love that.

Tux greets me, whiskers to face, every morning when I first awaken and leads me down the stairs to the fridge where his morning treat is waiting. Animals are such creatures of habit. He will eat his treat, wait while I fill up his other bowl with regular dry food and will take about 3 bites of that before heading to the couch for an after meal snooz.

The dogs wait patiently (or not so, depending on the day) for their turn of being let out and then back in again. Even the puppy knows to come in and sit quietly by the treat jar. They both settle right back into their spots in the kitchen.

With coffee in hand, I head to the living room to check in with all my online peeps and then settle in with my Quiet Time.

Every morning I battle with the frustration of my house not being where I want it to be…not as clean as I would like, not “decorated” as I would like. My frustration is a powerful distraction to my Quiet Time. And I think that is on purpose. His Purpose, to be exact. While I would prefer no distractions, no pulling for my attention and heart, that is NOT the way of this world we live in. Why would it be different for my Time with Him?

I talked with Him about it this morning. One day, I will have the time and focus for a clean home, decorated the way I envision.

That will be a sad day, indeed.

The distractions and pulls that keep me from a spotless home with everything in its place, are the people and things I hold most dearly…my children, my husband, friends, places I want to be.

After thanking Him for that reminder, lol, I was able to once again turn my attention to Him.

Clearly, I have completed my Quiet Time this morning and felt led to write on my blog. The boys are still asleep. My Girl, who abruptly moved back home on Thursday, spent the night back at Daniel’s last night because they were going to have a Sons of Anarchy marathon.

As you can imagine, I have lots to say on this new development. But for now, I am keeping my thoughts and my heart pretty close in and only talking with Him about it. And My Man, of course.

I want to thank you, my three faithful readers, for your prayers and calls and tweets and messages. I am thankful for each of you and thankful to Him that He has so blessed me.

Love you guys.