Control Freak

Quiet time this week has been pulled from Sarah Young’s, Jesus Calling. Today’s devotion, September 17, is all about planning and the need to control. (Sarah references 1 Peter 5:6-7; Proverbs 16:9 and Psalm 37:5)

I am a huge sufferer of this illness.

I flip through my journal to document my freakish need to plan and control. Page after page, day after day, I am writing lists of wants, needs, to dos, planning, planning, controlling, controlling.

When I stop to read the actual pages, I find that rarely was I able to complete even two things on the list let alone have complete control over that list.

Why? Because I’m so wrapped up in the “need to control” that I forget to consult “the One who controls all.”

Oh I pretend to consult Him…”this is what You want me to do, right, Lord?” as I’m dotting the i’s and crossing the t’s of my list.

My lists and plans and freaky control needs are so vast and huge that I will NEVER be able to complete them and satisfy them.

As I thought about this during my quiet time today, I realized that there is a direct link between the number and length of my lists and plans and the time I spend praying, consulting, listening to God. The former is much longer and greater when the latter is few and far between.

This morning, I am changing that. Fran, thank you for the head’s up on the need to change my priorities.

Love you guys!

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4 Comments

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  1. Oh Susan, I can so relate. I feel like the past few years–and this past year especially–have been a journey in giving up control.

    Prying my fingers apart, learning to relax, letting go.

    It's been hard, but good. A daily kind of a thing that still rears its head unexpectedly and catches me off guard. But there's progress…

    Love you. Praying for you. Thankful for you. Looking forward to eternity when you live down the street, or even next door!

    Like

  2. P.S. Your blog is so lovely. As a horrible lurker, I usually read in a reader, and it's fun to see it anew this mornings.

    Like

  3. That is my favoritest favorite book. Love it.

    Today's devo kicked me in my type A, obsessive, always planning gut. Hard.

    Like

  4. It's a process, isn't it, to not only let God be in control but to WANT God to be in control. Seems He's always trying to take me places I don't want to go.
    I wonder what my life would look like if I really didn't worry about it; didn't make any 'to do' lists and just lived day by day in His care…
    Take care, Susan

    Like

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