My Man and I, when we have had a moment or two to talk without a gaggle of kids around, have always laughed about the one thing we have truly done “right.” We made some pretty dern good-looking kids. The reason we laugh about this is because, obviously, the only hand in this we had was the actual getting married and procreating part. The fact that our children look the way they look is completely His part. Sure, the oldest kid looks like my dad but with My Man’s coloring. The girl has my eyes. The little boy (ha…he’s 6’2″ right now) has the Man’s coloring but actually looks more like me. Again…little snippets of “us” pulled together by Him. I’m laughing about it right now…with so much joy it makes my heart hurt.
What is most surprising to me is that growing up I had decided I wasn’t going to have children. Russell knew I felt this way, but I guess he felt he could convince me otherwise. Or, now that I think of it, maybe he felt the same way at the time. Hunh. I’m going to have to investigate that further. The reasoning is there. But that’s HIS story. Not mine.
My reasons for announcing I would never have children are many. From the title of my blog, you might get a hint or two…I didn’t like who I was. And until December 11, 1986, I really didn’t KNOW who I was.
It took being married for three years; three very unhappy and volatile years, for me to come to a place where I could begin to figure out who I was. December 11, 1986…the day I got down on my knees in a Pastor’s office and received Christ as my Lord and my Savior.
I was separated from my spouse by this time. Totally NOT believing there was a God and certainly not seeking Him.
Perfectly ripe for His picking.
How I ended up in Paul Carter’s office for counseling is something I haven’t figured out yet. But end up there I did. Paul later told me that even he doubted he could help me; I was so hardened.
How I came to be where I am today, married for 27 years (same guy I was separated from in 1986, by the way) with three incredible children, working and serving in our church, well, that IS a story I know He wants me to start sharing.
For now, though, I have to tell you that I really do love being Mom to Shawn, Sarah and Brett. And being called “Mom” by a host of other kids who have wormed their way into my heart.
I can’t begin to imagine how empty my life would be without them. Or Him.
Be a blessing to someone today…