I have always allowed stress to creep in and take control of my life. My health. My thoughts. My eating.
I have been feeling so crummy lately. After my quiet time this morning I had to get down on the floor, face down…we have a lovely rug in the living room where I happened to do my bible study this morning. It is thick and comfy and pretty. The sun was streaming in through the back door and I chose a warm, bright spot to place my hands and my face. If it wasn’t for the dog hair, cat hair and cookie crumbs…it would have been perfect!
Thankfully, He knew my heart was there (even if my vacuuming skills weren’t).
Again…again…AGAIN…he reminded me that basically…this is all my own doing. The crumminess I have felt, the fatigue, muscle aches, joint pain, yadda yadda is because I don’t listen to Him. I don’t obey Him. I totally freak out about everything and worry, fret, stew, search for answers on the internet when He Has All The Answers. He Has Given Me The Antidote For Healing. I refuse to take it. I refuse to take Him.
When am I going to learn? When am I going to obey? When am I going to be disciplined? When am I going to focus on Him and not wallow in my own…SELF. Susan Entertaining Lunatic Focus. Okay, I threw that one together in a nano-second…but I’ll work on a better one.
Anyway…this is one of the major things I miss about meeting with The Girls every week. They kept me in check. I would get the nurturing, mothering and warm hugs from Jill; Velora would get my food, vitamins and exercise program in line; Jen would quote me wonderful scriptures and add her own wise counsel; Lori would just give me a kick in the ass. It is what I need people and I miss it! I cannot be held accountable for myself. I just can’t do it. I’ve proved it for the last 48 years!
So…I am asking Him to take the place of my wonderful girls and get me back on track. And if a few girls just happen to toss some butt-kicking, huggin’, food ideas, scripture reading my way…I would be most grateful!
Love you guys.