January 1, 2008.

Well, LORD, here we are again. The first day of a new beginning. A New Year stretched out before me. Days, empty on the calendar page, waiting to be lived.

What path will I take?
What will my choices be?
Will I choose to follow You every step of the way?
Follow. Obedience. Something I don’t do well.
Choices. Decisions.
Will this finally be the year I live, walk, talk as This Girl? Your Girl?

There are so many changes I want to make. Need to make. Have to make. On its own, 2008 will bring a ton of changes:

Our first born child, the easy one, the beloved first born son, heir to the throne (lol), will graduate from high school. Will leave us to head off to college. Off to begin “his life”. Where I will worry about him, miss him, pray for him, without ceasing. I am mourning his departure already. Crying as I write this. He will come home. Will be welcomed home. Wanted home. Always. Not a burden. Not seen as a failure.

As I was.

But our family will never be the same. It will forevermore be changed.

I hate change that I cannot control.

Our girl, our only daughter. Beautiful. Strong. Compassionate. Oh, how I love her! I pray that she does not go down the paths I did. Doesn’t make the choices I did. Is able to look forward and be patient. And enjoy each moment. She will be a senior! A senior! My baby girl. Already talking about college. Thankfully talking about college. Finally. Wanting to get her grades up. Bring her GPA up. Step her game up. Play volleyball in college. Thank you for not giving up on her. Thank you for helping us to get her back on track.

For not allowing us to give up on her.

Our Wild Child. The youngest. Momma’s boy. So funny. Has always been funny. Struggling with becoming a young man. Wanting to reach back to be a child. Longing for a hug. Smooches. Always watching the older two. Then always choosing to do it his own, unique way. A leader. He’s heading to junior high this year. My baby. Help us to encourage him. To be just as vigilant and hands on with him as we were his brother and sister.

Yes. Things are changing. Big time. I hate changes I am unable to control.

Did I mention that to You, Father?

But, and I praise You for this, Jesus…it is exciting! I am filled with joy as I write this. You are in control. Your plan has been in action from the beginning. I do not need to worry. Do not need to fret. You are faithful.

YHWH, You are faithful when I am not. You are never changing amidst all the changes. Thank you, Father for loving me. For choosing me.

I choose You, YHWH. I choose You. Amen.

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4 thoughts on “January 1, 2008.

  1. Missed you Susan! I love your refreshing words—just skip that meme thingy…Your post tugs at my heart as I know firsthand the dropping off of three at college dorm doorsteps…opening new chapters of our lives…enjoy every minute of this year as they close this chapter…I’ve never done 90 Days or Names of God but sounds awesome. I love the way you talk about how God is stirring your heart. I really look forward to meeting you someday. You make me think of the woman who broke the perfume on Jesus’ feet—she knew, like you, that she was that girl and He alone could make her this girl.

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  2. Hi Susan,Glad you are back safe and sound.Oh, this emptying of the nest! For me, it has been the vehicle by which the Lord has drawn me back tighter and closer to Him. From one mother’s heart to another, I will keep you in prayer. Our oldest is on his last year of college and I can honestly say that the heartache subsides and a new kind of relationship begins that is rewarding in a different way. My oldest girl is also a Jr and I feel the loss of her constant place with us at home already beginning.We didn’t go away for the holidays and still-I’m behind on the 90 days with David! Tomorrow. Everyone is back to school and I will have some time. Happy New Year!Kathy

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  3. Aw Susan. My heart felt an ache for you with all of the change. With losing my firstborn, Shelby…and having sweet Morgan I so long for the same things. For her not to have the childhood I did. For her not to take the same paths. For her to be a baby forever…and I have merely blinked and she is 2 1/2. We have so much fun! With all the complications I have she will most likely be my only child. I already have thought about the day when she will leave my home and God has not given me the grace for that yet since it has not happened. Anyway, I love your heart and I will be here to pray over the next year!! love you Susan!! You are so loved by God! He will not fail you!!!

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