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On one of my regular reads this weekend, I ran across one of you amazing women that talked about a Lon Solomon sermon, “Ask and it Will be Given to You”, 5/22/05. I love Lon Solomon. He’s here in Virginia. I’ve not heard him/seen him preach in person, but I do regularly listen to his sermons.
I just have to tell you that I have really struggled with unbelief lately. Unbelief. Lack of faith. The whole stupid trust thing. It has become my number one pit. And I hate it. It makes my heart race. My stomach churn. Keeps me awake at night. Consumes my thoughts. That’s where I’ve been lately. Questioning, doubting, wondering what in the world is He doing?
So I took Lon at his word that God really does want us to ask Him. To be specific. To be honest. To just put it out there. So, I did. The particulars aren’t important. In the grand scheme of life, it is but a temporary moment thing. But it has consumed me lately and I had to tell Him about it and be open, repentant and sincere. Because really, although I try for my motives and my heart to be pure, I wasn’t even so sure they were for this particular request. And I told Him that, too. And then I made my request.
And He answered me. I knew it would be done. And I knew it would work out the way I requested it would.
And it did.
And I feel stupid and thankful and weepy all at the same time.
Because really, it was just a little thing as far as our journey here goes. But it meant the world to me and to others. And the best part is that…
I know, absolutely know, He did it for me. To build my faith. My trust. To help me overcome my unbelief.
And I feel so unworthy. That my God, Creator of the Universe, Lover of my soul, would be so involved and in complete control of a stupid little thing like this, in my life.
The best part is that, it wasn’t just for me and for this one little thing. It was for a lifetime.
If you doubt tonight that God does not love you and is not watching and in control of every minute thing in your life, I have to tell you that He is.
An update on Lucy and The Boyfriend. Apparently, he phoned…twice…the night of Homecoming. She didn’t pick up. Will he NEVER get the message? And The Homecoming Date…I guess he was just A Date after all. He may be “in like” with Lucy, but he told her brother that he will “honor the code” of not dating a friend’s sister. Interesting. He and Philip may end up as roomies at college. Philip told me the other night that a lot of his friends are interested in dating his sister but know that they can’t. I find it all fascinating. There appears to be no “code” amongst the girls.
And I had to admit to Joanne that I have never read through The Chronicles of Narnia (or Harry Potter) and she has read through both series over and over. So, last night I started The Magician’s Nephew. I’ve read it once, but wanted to begin at the beginning. I’ll take it with me this week to CNU, assuming I end up going because…
Caleb was up sick all night. And is still getting sick. I can’t have The Parents come up and walk into this kind of thing…who knows who will get it next. I don’t do vo**t well. My tummy has been churning all day from Caleb being sick and me anticipating/worrying about who will get it next. And having to clean before The Parents get here and do laundry and pack and oh…did I mention I have a job? It’s Been A Day, that’s for sure. Please toss up an arrow prayer for me/us that NO ONE else gets it. Apparently, it’s ripping thru the elementary school and the high school. Ugh.
It has just been a difficult last couple of weeks. I was finally at the point yesterday that I just wanted to stand in the middle of the room and SCREAM. As I contemplated actually following through with it, I felt a tug on my heart. And the soft whisper of a loving God Who gently reminded me that I have not met with him much since last week. Not in prayer, other than quick, “please don’t…” and “please let…” and “please give me…”. Those are okay, but that is not what He wants from me. My journal and my bible study sits next to Mamie’s Chair collecting dust and dog hair (which needs to be dusted and vacuumed tonight) and my quiet time has been pretty much non-existent. And he quickly brought to mind the first scripture I ever memorized and still love today:
1 O God, you are my God,
early will I seek you;
my soul thirsts for you,
my body longs for you,
in a dry and weary land
where there is no water.
2 I have seen you in the sanctuary
and beheld your power and your glory.
3 Because your love is better than life,
my lips will glorify you.
4 I will praise you as long as I live,
and in your name I will lift up my hands.
5 My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods;
with singing lips my mouth will praise you.
6 On my bed I remember you;
I think of you through the watches of the night.
7 Because you are my help,
I sing in the shadow of your wings.
8 My soul clings to you;
your right hand upholds me. Psalm 63
I mixed the NIV and KJV together for this. The KJV says “early will I seek You” whereas the NIV says “earnestly will”.
Reminding me that I must seek Him. Daily. In the morning.
Nails and Toes $58
Hair Supplies $25
Boutenneire for date $15
Goodies for the girls as they get ready $15
Look on The Homecoming Date’s face when he sees My Girl Pricesless
Oh. My. Word.
Check it out!
I’ve watched this and listened to it several times this morning. Powerful.