Looking Within leads to Looking Up…

Some things are happening in my life right now that are making me feel like the apostles on the Lake and Jesus was taking a nap.

Hello…are You out there?

I don’t really do change well. Having put that in writing…I had to snortlaugh out loud. Every single day is a change up for me. Several times a day, truth be told.

So, where is my constant? My calm? My peace?

I’ve lost my focus. I’ve stepped out of the boat and started walking and panic set in…I can’t hold onto anything! I can’t see where I’m going! I’m starting to sink…

Oh. Wait. When WAS the last time I made my quiet time/bible study/prayer time a priority? Sure…I opened my bible, tossed a scripture or two out there, rolled it around my tongue a bit. And I surely toss up arrow prayers left and right whenever I need something. But really…when was there serious quiet time? Serious praise and worship. Just me and my God. I can’t remember it, whenever it was.

I think I’ve been rebelling. The only time I know that I can really get my quiet time in is before 6:00am. And I have just been stinkin’ tired and out of sorts and not wanting to do it.

No surprise then, that I’m sinking in the lake of turmoil all around me.

I’ve noticed that this happens when I’m not in a serious, in-depth bible study. Having the accountability of a group study helps keep me on track, I think. Another one will be starting up in the Fall.

In the meantime, I have GOT to get back to a regular schedule. It’s all there…all written and rewritten in my journal. Prayed about. Prayed over. Reworked, refined. It’s sitting there looking back at me as I flip back to it regularly.

It’s the implementation part that’s getting me stuck. I’ve lost my thirst. My hunger.

That will need to be my first step. Praying for the thirst. The longing.

And I darn well better get to it quick before He sends something my way that will have me RUNNING back to Him out of desperation! I do not want that wake up call. I just want a little wake-up poke. No jab. Just a poke to get me moving.

I’m going…I’m going…

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2 Comments

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  1. Dear Susan, Yep…I so know what you’re talking about. I have to have my quiet time early in the morning too–before everyone else is up and it’s sometimes so very hard to roll out of bed. But the consequences of NOT doing far outweigh the momentary struggle of staying in bed.But way to go for realizing the problem–and not coming up with all kinds of other reasons and excuses, which is so easy to do.Set that alarm, get the coffee ready the night before, and go for it!JoanneP.S. Kind of makes me look forward to the schedule of school starting again!

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  2. I do it just like joanne…and the days i don’t take time, are sure to be the worst of days.Thankful that God is a God of do-overs! So just like me when I stumble around…just get up, brush off, and get to it…the Lover of YOUR soul is waiting for you. How sweet that HE is always there waiting…love you Princess!

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